Making the hat
by Skybox
Summary: There are a lot of stories about the sorting hat. It shaped the school of hogwards and great brittain in general. It has wisdom beyond that of any mortal men. But how is the hat really made? And is it really as wise as most people think? An odd idea that has been written as a one-shot.


**Spring 990**

The four always had the dream of starting a school for young Wizards and Witches. However, it was difficult to realize. They talked with a lot of people. Eventually, the house of Alpin, leader of the picts, helped them.

He gave them an old roman keep in the mountains. One that used to be in ruins before they repaired it.

The picts would also pay for education. In return for the education, the students would help the picts two years in the war against the vikings.

 **Saturday 9th of** **August 990 evening.**

Godric Griffindor had a long and tiresome meeting with the other three teachers. When he walked up the stairs, the sun was already setting. Shadows were long and there was little light to help you see. Even though, the full moon shined through the open castle window, you still needed candles. It ws not as if castles had big windows anyway.

Each teacher was specialized in certain areas. These areas correspond to the subjects they would be teaching. Rowena Ravenclaw was quite competent with a wand and would teach charms and transfiguration. Salazar Slytherin had a lot of traveling experience. In these experiences he often encountered dangerous creatures. He would teach magical creatures and dueling. Helga Huffelpuf had most experience in brewing potions and finding the ingerients. She would be teach herbology and alchemy. He himself would be teaching mental arts and enchanting.

In three weeks time the halls would accommodate almost thirty students. Still, there was a lot to do and much time left. Despite the fact that he felt tired, he lit a candle and started working at his desk. Looking over the tasks assigned to him, he quickly saw the task that bothered him the most. How to sort the students.

He didn't like the task. He was stuck at it but he didn't want to acknowledge that he had no clue what to do. The notes he previously made, led to nothing. He took a new piece of parchment to his desk and started writing.

 _Students must be sorted_

Every teacher had voiced it's preferences what kind of students they wanted to have. Many of them where not fair.

Rowena really wanted to show she was the best teacher, by producing the best class. She even made a bet with Salazar who would have the best students. Because of the bet, the teachers were soon required to give feedback on the houses. At first this was a good idea. However, the teachers were soon plotting against each other.

Still, fair or unfair, he wrote the requirements on the parchment:

 _Students must be sorted on their prime requirement.  
– Intelligence  
– Ambition  
– Courage  
– Friendship_

Sorting on the prime quality didn't feel good, but it was his assignment. It was difficult defining what a prime quality was. What does it mean to be ambitious, intelligent, brave or loyal? Testing it would be even more difficult. He started defining the prime qualities in more detail, making notes in the process.

Intelligence was likely the easiest to test. One could develop a written test and let all students complete this.

Ambition was much more difficult to measure. The test could ask what the student wanted to become but ambition is more than having a goal. It means trying to find out what a person would do to achieve their goals. This would require careful observation for at least a few months. Not something that could be done during a sorting feast.

He had to account that some people may have goals that would let other people think they are less ambitious. What should happen to these students?

Courage was easy to test. Let them face a Bogart and find out how they would cope with their worst fears. Would the face their fears? Would they run? It could be done and in a relative short time.

This would be an awful introduction to Hogwarts. Faced with their worst fear, half the students would likely burst into tears. In fact, he would probably panic, would it not be for the ridiculis charm. After all, he has seen some horrible things.

Godric took a glass of a strong apple wine to stop his thoughts. No use dwelling on past mistakes, even if friends got killed by it. The fights against the Vikings were brutal. In one of his last fights, someone woke a nearby dragon with a tickling charm.

The beast had awoken and began to eat anyone it could reach. The chain-mail of the guards was useless against the teeth of the horntail. The results were disastrous, for both sides. Panic spread through the ranks like waves in a storm. From the thousands of soldiers, maybe a hundred survived. The wizards were better equipped as some of us could apparate away.

No their worst fear was not a good thing to show young students. Imagine how many parents would come over, challenging them for a duel, if they would do it. It would even go too far for his standard.

Friendship. Godric found this a strange word. Everybody except the Dark Mage Njálldor should be able to make friends. Saying that only a quarter of the students would be able to do so, would be an insult. Still, it seems like an important quality. A quality that should be represented in all four houses.

He gave a silent toast to his lost friends and drank his second glass of apple wine. Damn, that was good stuff.

This was leading to nothing. Frustrated, he threw his parchment in the pile of unusable notes. He had to start all over and the deadline was closing in. He took another glass of apple wine emptying the bottle. Although, he thought that this was his first bottle, he could see two empty bottles.

He put his bottles away and put his thoughts back to the sorting. If he didn't find a solution soon, he had to sort the student without looking at the qualities.

 _Without looking at the qualities._

That was a new idea. He could work with it. It was easy to do and it would make the competition more fair.

He wanted to do some tests before suggesting it to the rest of the teachers. He took his hat and enchanted it to shouted a random teachers name when it was put on someones head.

This was easy and even somewhat fun. He added some enchantments to make sure family and friends would likely find themselves in the same house. It seemed to work like a charm, or rather an enchantment.

Still something was missing. He created a system to sort students. This sorting was fair but the sorting had to be believable as well. Otherwise, students would probably demand resortings.

His days of practical jokes has thought him a way. The confundus charm can make people believe the most ridiculous things. He weaved runes in the hat and charged them. This would duplicate the confundus charm suggesting you just had a conversation with the hat and that he sorted you in the correct house.

Laughing with victory he opened another bottle of apple wine, likely the second or third but in his drunken state of mind, he could not count very well. He started to celebrate his new achievement.

 **At midnight**

Godric was enjoying himself with yet another bottle. He was having a lot of fun and not thinking straight. He tried a lot of interesting enchantments on the hat. The last one made the hat to sing songs, as if it was a bard. He was adding more and more ridiculous songs.

However the alcohol was catching up. His walking became strolling and his strolling became even more clumsy. He tripped himself over an empty bottle end fell to the ground.

He cursed himself. The pain was not too bad because the flaming liquid paralyzed him. However, even though he tried he couldn't get up. He did instead the next best thing. He fell asleep, snoring loudly with a smile on his face. He was blissfully unaware how he would be woken the next morning.

 **The next morning**

Salazar, Helga and Rowena were at breakfast. The three quickly noticed that the fourth was absent.

"Where is Godric?" Rowena asked while eating her porridge.

"I hope he hadn't been drinking again." Helga said concerned.

"Yeah." Rowena agreed. "When he starts he can't retain itself."

"If he isn't downstairs at the end of our breakfast I will go and look for him."

"We'll come with you." Salazar said.

As the Griffindor indeed didn't come down to breakfast, the three got up the stairs and knocked on the door on the office. No response was heard but Rowena wanted to know what was going on.

Alhomora

When they opened his door, a smell of alcohol welcomed them. A few empty bottles and half empty bottles where on the floor. Some of them have fallen over, ruining yet another carpet. It seems he had been drinking again.

Annoyed at this bad habit, Helga woke Godric by shouting a rant.

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING

YOU SHALL NOT DRINK IN A SCHOOL THAT IS SOON FULL OF CHILDREN.

THIS BEHAVIOUR IS UNACCEPTABLE.

Godric woke up, "Can you be somewhat more quiet. I have a headache."

This had exactly the opposite effect and Helga increased her volume.

AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT.

WHO HAS BEEN DRINKING?

WE HAD SPECIFIC RULES FORBIDDING IT

"Please" Godric said "can you give me a hangover potion".

AND WHY SHOULD I GIVE YOU SUCH A POTION?

GIVING YOU THE POTION WILL ONLY INCREASE THE CHANCE OF THIS HAPPENING AGAIN.

"Please" he begged "I had something to celebrate"

AND WHAT DID YOU HAVE TO CELEBRATE?

"I don't know" he atmitted "Can I have the potion. Maybe I remember it then."

…

 **A lot of scolding and a potion later:**

"Godric, what did you celebrate anyway" asked Rowena.

"It is a bit vague. I seem to recall I solved the sorting problem." Godric awnsered.

"Great!" Rowena said. "I honestly didn't think we would solve it in time." She knew all that it was a difficult topic. For a few seconds she waited for Godric to continue. When this didn't happen, Rowena, the most curious one continues to question.

"How did you solve it?"

There was an obvious disappointment with the answer. "I have honestly no idea" Godric answered "The only thing I remember is that it had something to do with my hat."

They looked for the notes but only found a piece of parchment stating the sorting requirements. The notes were clearly incomplete which was a disappointed for everybody.

It wasn't until the hat was discovered, that they found any results.

When Godric put his hat on his head thought he he felt some mental presence reading his thoughts. Strangely it past beyond his occlumency barriers as if they did not exist. Not noticing the confundus charm he believed the hat began to talk to him.

 _What do we have here?_

 _Where shall we sort you?_

…

 **Years later**

The confundus charm helped to shape the houses. In many cases, the charm together with house unity made sure that the student in question indeed developed the desired qualities, often years later.

Godric had been congratulated many times for the achievement in making the hat. This academic achievement was beyond anything that was thought to be possible. This made Godric and Hogwarts soon rise in status.

Godric tried for many years to find out how he made the sorting hat. He didn't like that he didn't know how he completed his biggest achievement ever. After all, it was a magical artifact that defied logic and was powerful beyond recognition.

It was not the first time, nor the last time that someone made an artifact that defied logic.


End file.
